I'm blogging because I promised myself I would start my outlines today....so here I am!

It really isn't hard, just tedious and probably good for me to start putting stuff together. ugh.

I went out on Thursday, which was fun and really good for me. It was nice to see everyone outside of the school scene and to drink. We went out in Huntington Beach on Main Street which leads to the pier which is out over the ocean. It blows my mind that the ocean is just right there. Like I could just go walk into it. I wouldn't cause like I was drunk and it's really cold, but other than that-right there.

Everyday gets a little better. When people say that, I'm like yeah ok whatev. But it does. For a few weeks living alone was one of the hardest things I've done. Esp in a new place starting all over alone with my thoughts. But what I realized is that living alone allows you to face things head on. I can't escape how I feel and my thoughts seem to echo, but the more I face it, the easier it is. I really think I have to let the pain wash over me when it comes and just deal. If I run away, it will catch up to me later, and I'll have to face it then. I don't know, it just seems better this way.

What I can't deal with is being lied to and disappointed. The sad thing is, I'll forever remember everything with a tinge of what happened at the end. Maybe I don't deserve what I needed, but I was promised it. I counted on that.

Ok, seriously, outlines.