The beginning

Tomorrow is my first day of actual classes. I am so nervous, because not only can the professors randomly call on me and expect me to know the answer (since I just did a bunch of homework), but because this is the beginning of a path I will be on for the rest of my life. There are so many obstacles. After the first year, the lowest 30% are asked not to return. Then in 3 years I have to take the bar, and it seems karma has caught up with me because Cali has the hardest bar in the U.S. (followed by NY, in case you wondered, and I think TX is 3rd) then I have to find a job and excel at it. I mean people do it all the time, but it's really fucking scary. For me. People apply to masters programs that only accept like 3 people or some shit, so like they win, but still I'm nervous.

It's just crazy that this is it, the start of my life goal. whew.

Ok, so tomorrow it is.

Side Note: It feels so weird that everyone is going back to Truman and I'm not. And it's freshman week. I don't know, I guess I shouldn't be sad, but I am. It's hard. Harder than I expected...

I am so tired. And instead of finishing my last case brief, I just did some facebook stalking.

Pri-or-it-ies People.

And now I am blogging. And I just cleaned out my downloads....aghh.

Ok, seriously.

So I have my good moments (Orientation) and bad (home alone, watching every Vh1 show available) but there are times when it really hits me.

I was stalking Karianne on facebook, (I am too prideful to add anyone I met at Orientation) and I noticed an event that I curiously clicked on. Of course it was a party at our fav frat (eye roll) All of a sudden I am thrown into a downward spiral even Law and Order can't take my mind off of. It's weird not being invited, and not going,...and not dating the president. I love my life, don't get me wrong. I love Cali and I love (ok eventually) law school. I would never have given up coming here for anything, but it's such a change. I mean, I'm so used to parties, my friends, BOB, and having a bf I adore.

Mostly, I feel out of it. If I am absolutely honest, I guess I'm sad that life in K-ville can seemingly go on without a hitch minus my presence. As obvious as I know that is, there is still a point when I had to have this realization.

Now that I've discussed this in public (I'm aware how retarded this is) I must get to my homework.

Side Note: In Law School, I'm told (since I haven't actually started) you are supposed to study 50 hours a week-thats 7.15 a DAY-including weekends. This is not including the time spent in class. I am so not bitching, well yeah I am.

Soon I will be too busy to even think about frat parties.

So, I was in Irvine for breakfast and I drove past UC-Irvine and I felt my heart break a little. Not that Truman compares at all to any UC school, but it's still a campus. There weren't any actual students there, but I felt the electricity in the air. You know, the start of a new year, the excitement, the nerves, the comfort of college (there is an odd comfort knowing you are safe from the real world). I have to admit, even though I start an entirely new journey tomo, I miss the fun of coming back to Truman-esp at the end when I felt like I had everything in the bag.

Mostly, I'm sure, it stems from the nervousness surrounding tomorrow. I don't know anyone, the campus, the professors, or even what to expect. The mystery and fear that is law school is overwhelming right now. I just want to get there and get started.

I'm ready for everything to fall into place.

Ah. So long time, no post.

I am finally moved in to my apartment. I have new everything. And I have internet and cable. This is all good. And I love living alone.

Orientation starts on Monday...I will refrain from talking about it, because it makes me want to throw up, due to nerves.

LA, or more specifically the O.C., is now my city and it feels so surreal. I can't believe I live here, I think it will take a while to set in.

Maybe one day I'll be fancy and put pictures up here of my new desk and desk chair (which I LOVE ) Thanks to Living Spaces. Actually I owe this apartment to Living Spaces and Target. And a few loans.